Daddy plays Piano in a House of Prostitution

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"

Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

Thank you, Amy," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a house of prostitution."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Police officer at Rowdy Bar

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
In the meantime, everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was ready for him, and quickly pulled him over. After stopping the driver, the officer read him his rights and administered a Breathalyzer test.
The results showed a reading of 0.0%.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

Not Long enough

A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to choose and enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in "p..e..n..i..s."
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

Newly married couple in hotel

After their wedding reception a newly married couple went to their hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite.

"Do you have reservations?" the desk clerk asked.

"Only one," the groom replied. "She's not into anal sex,"