Kerala Bachelor's Proposal Letter

Madam:I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram.Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to pressmyself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall andsix inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am workinghardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a goodbatter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, otherbatters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jollygay . Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am alwaysgiving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get ontop.That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not suckingtobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I ampumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you cancome and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressingmyself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things intoyour hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be lovingyou very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in thegym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you andpress you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicelysmelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly foryour reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon,Yours and only yours Kutty