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Cricket's future in Pakistan in jeopardy

Santa Banta looking at Egyptian mummy

Santa and Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.

Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written… BC 1760 !!!

People who make no mistakes

People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes,

People who do less work…make less mistakes,

People who do no work…make no mistakes,

People who make no mistakes…get promoted.

B-R-O-W-N

Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."

Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane.

He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."

The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I'm 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N."

Why some people have all the luck?

Why some people have all the luck

By RICHARD WISEMAN

Why do some people have all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve?

I set out to examine luck, 10 years ago. Why are some people always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune? I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, have been interviewed by me. I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50'.

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

I wondered towards the end of the work, whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person. Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80 per cent of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier.

The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky. Finally, i had found the elusive 'luck factor'. Here are four top tips for becoming lucky:

1. Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right.
2. Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.
3. Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well.
4. Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

Have a Lucky day and work for it.

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

The author of `The Luck Factor' teaches at the University of Hertfordshire.

Kerala Bachelor's Proposal Letter

Madam:I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram.Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to pressmyself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall andsix inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am workinghardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a goodbatter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, otherbatters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jollygay . Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am alwaysgiving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get ontop.That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not suckingtobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I ampumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you cancome and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressingmyself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things intoyour hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be lovingyou very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in thegym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you andpress you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicelysmelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly foryour reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon,Yours and only yours Kutty

The winning run and a hundred

Sachin Tendulkar reached his century and made the winning runs with the same hit against England in Chennai. How many times has this happened before in Tests?

Rather surprisingly, Sachin Tendulkar's double in the recent match in Chennai is only the second time in Test history that a batsman has reached his century and won the game with the same shot. The only other time this has happened was in Cape Town in 2001-02, when Ricky Ponting completed a four-wicket victory for Australia with a six off Paul Adams, which took him neatly to 100 (he needed a six, as a four would have won the match too and left him on 98).

Sexual Assault!!!

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies.

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left...

Neurological Test

Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99996999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult..
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Solved all three? Consider signing in my guestbook. Thanks.

Software Engineers :)

There was a good old barber in Mumbai. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut.

After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:"I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service". Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay, the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there ?



A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about the free haircut !

Mathematics Puzzle

Something to make you use your brain for few moments.

A man wanted to get into his work building. Everyday his boss used to give five clues which will give a 5 digit no. as a secret key to enter the building's secured door. These are what those clues were, now try your hand on this....:

The fifth number plus the third number equals fourteen.

The fourth number is one more than the second number..

The first number is one less than twice the second number.

The second number plus the third number equals ten.

The sum of all five numbers is 30.

What were the five numbers and in what order?

Teacher playing name that animal in class

Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal.

The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job! Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"A horny bastard!" called out Eddie.

Buildings go up, economies head down.... "Skyscraper Curse"

There's an uncanny correlation between attempts to construct the world's tallest building and financial crises. Be it New York in 1930, Chicago in 1974, Kuala Lumpur in 1997, China in 2008 or the biblical Tower of Babel long before that, efforts to erect mankind's next architectural monstrosity have proved a reliable indicator of economic meltdowns.

In the late 1920s, the completion of the Chrysler and Empire State buildings coincided with the Great Depression. The 1970s saw the erection of the 1,368-foot World Trade Center and Chicago's 1,450-foot Sears Tower amid stagflation, a fiscal crisis in New York and the breakdown of the Bretton Woods monetary system. The completion of Kuala Lumpur's Petronas Towers in 1997 coincided with the collapse of Asia's economies. Year 2008 saw the collapse of the world's financial markets with the completion of Shanghai World Financial Center, China.

What's the connection between the skyscraper's and the crises? Over-Investment, speculation.

The desire to erect the tallest building seems to have much to do with sudden capital inflows that pump up credit creation and confidence. It's often periods of over-investment and financial speculation, fueled by excessive monetary expansion, that drive developers and politicians to architectural one-upmanship.

What all this means for economies and markets is highly debatable. Still, history shows skyscrapers may provide more information than meets the eye. Building trends may just prove to be one of the very few economic barometers with real foundation.

Note: Excerpts as taken from http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/gi_0199-2120898/Buildings-go-up-economies-head.html

Newly married couple in hotel

After their wedding reception a newly married couple went to their hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite.

"Do you have reservations?" the desk clerk asked.

"Only one," the groom replied. "She's not into anal sex,"

Husband reading book and fondling his wife

A married couple is lying in bed one night.

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes?

His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay.

The husband says, No, not at all.

His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then?

I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

Confession of Tommy

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends."

Father Donavon asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, 'tis I."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't be telling you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say Father, please."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Brydie Sharon?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

"Was it Mary Catherine Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed, Father."

"Was it Fiona McDonald then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone.You cannot attend church for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads."

Sushil Kumar wins bronze in wrestling

This news ought to be bigger than Michael Phelps winning 8 Golds (the most by any athlete in a single Olympics) or the great Sergei Bubka breaking his own world record many times over. India has won 2 individual meet medals in Beijing'2008. Abhinav Bindra did India proud just before her 61st Independence day by winning the first ever individual . Sushil Kumar put the icing on the cake by winning the bronze medal in the men's 66kg freestyle wrestling event at the Beijing Olympics on Wednesday, August 20, 2008.

This rejoice does not here for more than 1 Billion people who have been starved of Olympic glory. In boxing, Vijender Kumar, a resident of Bhiwani, has reached the semi-finals, assuring himself a Bronze medal. This is the best ever show by India in Olympics. Move over Phelps, Bolt.. here comes INDIA.

Chak de India.. Chak de India.. Chak de India.. Chak de India.. Chak de India..

Phelps wins his 6th Gold

Michael Phelps wins his 6th Olympic Gold in 200m Medley by breaking another World record.

Find Unclaimed Money, Assets and Cash

FindUnclaimedMoney.net is the Internet's premiere web site for unclaimed money and assets. The database contains over 50 million records from the States' unclaimed property databases including millions from 12 Federal Government agencies' databases.

• Lost Assets due to name changes, marriage, divorce, etc.

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• Stocks from companies that may have merged.

• Unclaimed FHA Mortgage Insurance refunds.
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• Unclaimed Federal employee retirement benefits.

• Unclaimed dividends and interest payments.
• Unclaimed Royalties for American Indians.
• Lost US Treasury Savings Bonds and other securities.

• Abandoned Safe Deposit box contents.

• Undeliverable wages or payroll checks.

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• Unclaimed Private Pension plans taken over by PBGC.

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The powerful search system at FindUnclaimedMoney.net is designed around "advanced name match" algorithm, that quickly searches the database from 50 million records to help locate one's unclaimed money.

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