Tuesday, December 30, 2008

B-R-O-W-N

Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."

Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane.

He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."

The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I'm 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N."

Monday, December 29, 2008

Why some people have all the luck?

Why some people have all the luck

By RICHARD WISEMAN

Why do some people have all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve?

I set out to examine luck, 10 years ago. Why are some people always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune? I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, have been interviewed by me. I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50'.

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

I wondered towards the end of the work, whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person. Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80 per cent of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier.

The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky. Finally, i had found the elusive 'luck factor'. Here are four top tips for becoming lucky:

  1. Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right.
  2. Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.
  3. Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well.
  4. Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

Have a Lucky day and work for it.

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

The author of `The Luck Factor' teaches at the University of Hertfordshire.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Kerala Bachelor's Proposal Letter

Madam:I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram.Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to pressmyself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall andsix inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am workinghardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a goodbatter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, otherbatters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jollygay . Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am alwaysgiving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get ontop.That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not suckingtobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I ampumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you cancome and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressingmyself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things intoyour hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be lovingyou very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in thegym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you andpress you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicelysmelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly foryour reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon,Yours and only yours Kutty

The winning run and a hundred

Sachin Tendulkar reached his century and made the winning runs with the same hit against England in Chennai. How many times has this happened before in Tests?

Rather surprisingly, Sachin Tendulkar's double in the recent match in Chennai is only the second time in Test history that a batsman has reached his century and won the game with the same shot. The only other time this has happened was in Cape Town in 2001-02, when Ricky Ponting completed a four-wicket victory for Australia with a six off Paul Adams, which took him neatly to 100 (he needed a six, as a four would have won the match too and left him on 98).

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Sexual Assault!!!

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies.

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left...

Neurological Test

Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99996999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult..
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Solved all three? Consider signing in my guestbook. Thanks.